My sleepy awake eyes stare at the time. 2am. Sigh and turn over. Lie there. Counting. Thinking. Trying to not think. I calculate the remaining hours until getting up time and try to will myself to sleep. It doesn’t work and I give up. Turn on the light. Start re-reading the novel I just finished. 2.30am. Try again. Whirring stillness in my mind like a laptop fan or the background hum of an office striplight. I watch the shifting kaleidescopic patterns that flash across the darkness behind my closed eyes. Pull an eyemask on to block it all out but my quiet mind shouts louder. 3am. Eyemask off I stare at the shadows across my room from the streetlight outside. A car passes. Too tired to read but too tired to shut my eyes agan. I try to empty my mind but it floods with things that need doing. Things that are worrying me. Try to relax my body, from toe to top. Feeling each muscle tense then unwind. Turn over. 4am. It almost seems to be getting light already. The first birds singing. My eyes are heavy with the sleep that won’t come and I wish that I could use this time productively. Finally drift off into semi-consciousness. Not fully asleep but starting to dream. And suddenly there is danger and panic and there is a noise that is stressing me. With a jolt, I realise that it is my alarm and that it is morning and that I must have slept.